1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922
♪ The Simpsons ♪

2
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482
D'

3
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
Aah!

4
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,836
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

5
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,172
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

6
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:32,509
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

7
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,512
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

8
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,972
♪ Springfield cops
are on the case ♪

9
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:41,059
♪ But what do you expect
for the money we make? ♪

10
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,020
♪ Whether in a car
or on a bus ♪

11
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,065
♪ We don't mind
using excessive force ♪

12
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,234
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

13
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,236
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

14
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,862
All right, boys.

15
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,906
Time to bag us a cattle rustler.

16
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,869
What in God's name
are you doing?

17
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,997
Isn't this
742 Evergreen Terrace?

18
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,999
No, that's next door.

19
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,800
Close, but no doughnut, cops.

20
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,343
This is Papa Bear.

21
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,513
Put out an A.P.B.
For a male suspect driving a...

22
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,889
car of some sort

23
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,892
heading in the direction of...

24
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,853
you know,
that place that sells chili.

25
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,522
Suspect is hatless.
Repeat. Hatless.

26
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,651
I can't wait till they throw
his hatless butt in jail.

27
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,487
Honey, you really shouldn't
eat so much in bed.

28
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,865
It's not good for your heart.

29
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,867
My heart is just fine.

30
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,828
Homie, what is it?

31
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:45,707
Just working the turkey through.

32
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,709
There it goes.

33
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,673
Hey, Lis, there was
a big train wreck last night.

34
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,466
- Do you want to see the victims?
- Okay.

35
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,011
Bart, that's gross.

36
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,554
You're right.

37
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,514
Let's bury them at sea.

38
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,433
Dad!

39
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,270
What's wrong?

40
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,022
You know that feeling
you get when

41
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:13,151
a thousand knives of fire are
stabbing you in the heart?

42
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,195
I got that right now.

43
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,739
Ooh, bacon!

44
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,575
Homer, I prepared
a special surprise just for you.

45
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:24,078
It could only be one thing.

46
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:27,582
Psst! The best meat's
in the rump.

47
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,083
Here you go.

48
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,668
What the hell is this?

49
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,503
Nice, healthy oatmeal.

50
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:33,922
Ooh, oatmeal.

51
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,882
What a delightful treat.

52
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,218
There's a bug in it.

53
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,969
No, there isn't.

54
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,053
Trust me.

55
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,435
Dad, there's a bug on that.

56
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,278
Come on, come on.

57
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,163
Dear.

58
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,499
Now you've done it.

59
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:20,718
I keep hearing this horrible,
irregular thumping noise.

60
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,846
It's your heart,

61
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,723
and I think
it's on its last thump.

62
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,977
I was afraid
it was my transmission.

63
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,478
Hey, where's he going?

64
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,480
Billy, remember
that old Plymouth

65
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:34,190
we just couldn't fix?

66
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,151
We're going to sell him
to Mr. Nikapopolos?

67
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,112
You're a dull boy, Billy.

68
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,868
Look at that pig stuffing his
face with doughnuts on my time.

69
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,746
That's right. Keep eating.

70
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,498
Little do you know

71
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,709
you're drawing ever closer
to the poisoned doughnut.

72
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,130
There is a poisoned one,
isn't there, Smithers?

73
00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,923
No, sir. I discussed this
with our lawyers.

74
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,049
They consider it murder.

75
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,385
Damn their oily hides!

76
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,597
Bring him to me!

77
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:12,603
Relax, Simpson.

78
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,897
I just brought you in
for a friendly hello.

79
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,861
And good-bye!
You're fired!

80
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,321
But wait.

81
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,448
Perhaps I'm being too hasty.

82
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,701
You are highly skilled...

83
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,911
at goofing off!

84
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,372
Now, don't worry, Homer.

85
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,083
You're the kind of guy
I could really dig...

86
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,710
a grave for!

87
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:40,715
Your indolence is inefficacious.

88
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,133
That means you're terrible!

89
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,103
Mr. Burns, I think he's dead.

90
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,521
Dear.

91
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,315
Send a ham to his widow.

92
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,109
Ham.

93
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,988
No, wait. He's alive.

94
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,699
- Good. Cancel the ham.
- D'

95
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,581
Wow, look at that.

96
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,249
How do they know to cross there?

97
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,009
I'm telling you,
it's not going to work.

98
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,054
See?

99
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,972
He was taking a bite
and his jaw locked.

100
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,725
Hey, look, I can fit my
entire fist in here.

101
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,311
Hey! Hey! Hey!

102
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,397
What's that, Chief?

103
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,233
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

104
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,068
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪

105
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:46,072
Ooh, buy three tubes
of Mr. Blister, get one free.

106
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,407
Hello?

107
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,034
Yes.

108
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,953
Dear Lord!

109
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,663
Homer's in the hospital.

110
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,748
They think it's his heart!

111
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,251
- My God.
- What?

112
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,878
Five cents off wax paper.

113
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,381
Clear.

114
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,219
More.

115
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,597
Thank you.

116
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,434
Homie, I was so frightened.

117
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,062
Marge, my whole life
flashed before my eyes.

118
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,565
Little Homer.

119
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,112
How did he get that?

120
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:32,410
♪ Fall on your knees ♪

121
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:36,038
♪ Hear
the angels' voices... ♪

122
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,040
What a voice.

123
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,419
Young Homer's going
to make me a millionaire.

124
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:46,799
♪ Night... divine... ♪

125
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,051
Hey, my voice just changed.

126
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:53,431
♪ Night,
when Christ was born ♪

127
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,391
Dagnab it!

128
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,519
Mr. Simpson, I'm afraid you've
just had a mild heart attack.

129
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,938
But I'm out
of the woods now, right?

130
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,858
I mean, whatever doesn't kill
me can only make me stronger.

131
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,860
No, quite the opposite.

132
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,445
It's made you weak as a kitten.

133
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,447
Look.

134
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,282
Hey, come on, quit it.

135
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,159
Kootchy, kootchy-koo.

136
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,744
Stop, please stop.

137
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,121
You swing like a girl,
come on now.

138
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,205
Please, have mercy.

139
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,166
Got your nose.

140
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,542
Not funny.

141
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,170
How about this little bee?
Bzz...

142
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,133
Remember your hippopotamus oath.

143
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,802
Can't you do something for him?

144
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,429
Well, we can't fix his heart,

145
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,016
but we can tell you
exactly how damaged it is.

146
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,935
What an age we live in.

147
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:42,980
Now what you see here is the
radioactive dye we injected

148
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,441
flowing through your husband's
circulatory system.

149
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,027
But, Doctor, I haven't
injected the dye yet.

150
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,947
- Good Lord.
- Hi.

151
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,116
So, Homer, this is a new
body fat analysis test.

152
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,535
I start you jiggling

153
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,246
and measure how long
it takes to stop.

154
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,627
Whoo-hoo!
Look at that blubber fly.

155
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,754
Yes.

156
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,965
Nurse, cancel my 1:00.

157
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,050
Homer, I'm afraid you'll
have to undergo

158
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,177
a coronary bypass operation.

159
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,762
Say it in English, Doc.

160
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,681
You're going to need
open-heart surgery.

161
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,683
Spare me your medical
mumbo-jumbo.

162
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:22,353
We're going to cut you open
and tinker with your ticker.

163
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,397
Could you dumb it down a shade?

164
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,667
Doctor, we'll do whatever it
takes to get my Homie well.

165
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,985
Good. I must warn you, though.

166
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:33,239
This procedure will cost you
upwards of $30,000.

167
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,161
I'm afraid it's now 40,000.

168
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,587
Okay, okay, we need $40,000.

169
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,922
Now how much do we have
in the checkbook?

170
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,717
$70.

171
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,845
Have we deposited any $40,000
checks that haven't cleared yet?

172
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,431
No. Don't you have
health insurance at work?

173
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,974
Well, actually,
we gave it all up

174
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,726
for a pinball machine
in the lounge.

175
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,353
- D'
-Don't worry, Marge.

176
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,231
America's health care system
is second only to Japan...

177
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,318
Canada, Sweden, Great Britain...

178
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,694
Well, all of Europe.

179
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,487
But you can thank
your lucky stars

180
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,282
we don't live in Paraguay.

181
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,560
Now before we give you
health insurance,

182
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,586
I have to ask you
a few questions.

183
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,504
Questions? Questions?

184
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,632
My whole scheme down the...

185
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,091
I mean, ask away.

186
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,259
Good.

187
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,886
Now, under "heart attacks,"

188
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,096
you crossed out "3"
and wrote "0."

189
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,683
I thought that said
brain hemorrhages.

190
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,603
And do you drink?

191
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,938
I do enjoy a snifter
of port at Christmas.

192
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,024
All right, here's your policy.

193
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,735
Now let me tell you something,
Mr. Sucker, I just...

194
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,488
Hold on there.
You still have to sign it.

195
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,490
I...

196
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,410
Must... sign... policy.

197
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,621
Sir, I'm sorry.
We can't insure you.

198
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,956
- I made an "H."
- No, that doesn't count.

199
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,333
Looks like an "X."

200
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,002
We better get you to a hospital.

201
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,713
- Can I have a free calendar?
- Okay.

202
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,924
Clear.

203
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,175
Doctor,

204
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,843
I was in a wonderful place

205
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,929
filled with fire and brimstone.

206
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,765
And there were all these
guys in red pajamas

207
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,725
sticking pitchforks in my butt.

208
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,895
Mr. Simpson, you must get that
operation as soon as possible.

209
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,855
I can't afford it.

210
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,692
Maybe I should buy
one of those machines.

211
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,945
Yeah. That's the stuff.

212
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,781
Now, I know I haven't been
the best Christian.

213
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,991
In fact, when you're up there
blah-blah-blahing,

214
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,368
I'm usually doodling

215
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,704
or mentally undressing
the female parishioners.

216
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,874
Well, anywho,
can I have $40,000?

217
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,669
Now, I know I haven't been
the best Jew,

218
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,295
but I rented Fiddler on the Roof

219
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,880
and I will watch it.

220
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,383
Anyway, can I have $40,000?

221
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,010
Now, I know
I haven't been the best...

222
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,596
Aw, forget it.

223
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,223
Honey, did you have any luck?

224
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,642
No, but the rabbi gave me this.

225
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,893
What is it, Dad?

226
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,062
Son, they call it a droodle.

227
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,398
Whoo-hoo!
Look at him go.

228
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:16,026
Hi, everybody.
Are you looking for a way

229
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,612
to slash the cost
of your medical expenses?

230
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,489
Boring.

231
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,300
Wait, this might be the answer
we're looking for.

232
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:27,455
I will perform any operation
for $129.95.

233
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,373
Come in for brain surgery

234
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,251
and receive a free
Chinese finger trap.

235
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,254
Okay, Fred.

236
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,672
You tried the best.

237
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,466
Now try the rest.

238
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,719
Call 1-600-DOCTORB.

239
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,596
The "B" is for "Bargain."

240
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,932
Marge, we could do worse.

241
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,476
How?

242
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,187
Some dog could do the operation.

243
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,397
Operation?
What are you talking about?

244
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,399
Kids, I have something
to tell you.

245
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,360
Homie, I don't know.
This might upset them.

246
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,196
Nothing you say can upset us.

247
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,489
We're the MTV generation.

248
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,532
We feel neither highs nor lows.

249
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,659
Really? What's it like?

250
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,412
Well, you kids are old enough
to know the truth,

251
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,122
and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.

252
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,626
So, the tiny aorta fairies
will take Mr. Leg Vein

253
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:16,003
on a long trip to get married

254
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,130
to Princess Left Ventricle.

255
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,673
Dad, are you trying to tell us

256
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,134
you're getting
a coronary artery bypass graft?

257
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,302
Yeah.

258
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,888
No. What if they botch it?

259
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,390
I won't have a dad...

260
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,850
for a while.

261
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:35,147
Kids, kids,
I'm not going to die.

262
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,399
That only happens to bad people.

263
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,151
What about Abraham Lincoln?

264
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,071
He sold poisoned milk
to schoolchildren.

265
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,531
- Homer!
- Hey, I'm just trying

266
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,032
to make it easier on 'em.

267
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,076
Bed goes up, bed goes down.

268
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,911
Bed goes up, bed goes down.

269
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,121
Bed goes up, bed goes down.

270
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,373
Bed goes up, bed goes down.

271
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,875
Homer Simpson?

272
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,670
If that don't put the "Dink"
In co-inky-dink.

273
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,839
Flanders,
what are you doing here?

274
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,174
I'm having a kidney
and a lung removed.

275
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,843
Who are you donating them to?

276
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,177
First come, first serve.

277
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,178
What are you in for?

278
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,805
I got a bad heart.

279
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,307
If I could give you
my heart, Homer, I would.

280
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,391
Shut up, Flanders.

281
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,519
Hi, everybody!

282
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,189
I'm Dr. Nick Riviera.

283
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,233
Dr. Riviera,
Dr. Nick Riviera,

284
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,877
please report
to the coroner immediately.

285
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,654
The coroner?
I'm so sick of that guy.

286
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:26,782
Well, see you
in the operating place.

287
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659
- Dr. Riviera!
- Dr. Riviera!

288
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,743
Where are the bodies?

289
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,829
Such a nice day.

290
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,581
I think I'll go out the window.

291
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:34,790
Whoa!

292
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,382
Dear Lord, thank you
for Ziggy comics,

293
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,467
little baby ducks,

294
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,179
and Sweatin' to the Oldies,
volumes one, two, and four.

295
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,392
Dear Lord,

296
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,353
I'm really scared
about this operation tomorrow.

297
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,440
If something happens,
please look after Marge

298
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:02,192
and make sure
my kids grow up right.

299
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,277
Shh!

300
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,239
Sorry.

301
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:15,331
And that's why God
causes train wrecks.

302
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,459
My dad is very sick.

303
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,419
What's going to happen
if he dies?

304
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,339
Well, if he's been good,
he'll go to heaven.

305
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,840
In heaven, you get to do

306
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,801
whatever you like best
all the time.

307
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:31,013
Cloud goes up, cloud goes down.

308
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,723
Cloud goes up, cloud goes down.

309
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,059
Bed goes up, bed goes down.

310
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:36,602
Hey! Hey!

311
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:40,731
Hey, what's the matter?

312
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,316
That's right.

313
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,276
My grotesque appearance.

314
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,279
Krusty, why are you here?

315
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,740
It's part of my public service

316
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:53,369
for my glug-glug,
vroom-vroom, thump-thump.

317
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,704
Well, I could use a good laugh.

318
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,999
Well, there's nothing funny about
what you're about to go through.

319
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:02,628
I know.
I'm in the zipper club myself.

320
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,883
- You seem okay.
- Yeah?

321
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,136
Well, I got news for you.
This ain't makeup.

322
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,764
They say the greatest tragedy

323
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,809
is when a father outlives
his son.

324
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,895
I've never fully understood
why that is.

325
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,565
Frankly, I can see
an upside to it.

326
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,110
We passed this card
around at work.

327
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,903
Gee, thanks, guys.

328
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,571
They had a hell of a time
replacing you.

329
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,119
When I first heard
about the operation,

330
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,079
I was against it.

331
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,664
But then I thought

332
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,875
"If Homer wants to be a woman,
so be it."

333
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,211
Barney, I'm not getting
a sex change.

334
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,879
What?!

335
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,215
What the hell
am I supposed to do

336
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,050
with this jumbo thong bikini?

337
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,387
Homer, I snuck you in a beer
for old times' sake.

338
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,848
Thanks, Moe.

339
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,143
You know, Homer,
that beer ain't free.

340
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,980
Mom, this is fascinating.

341
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:06,358
Did you know that they'll stop
Dad's heart for six whole minutes?

342
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,861
I don't know
if I like you reading

343
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,487
all those cardiology books.

344
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,322
No, Mom, it's very reassuring,

345
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,366
and I 've learned a great deal

346
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,619
from this cow's heart I got
at the butcher shop.

347
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,206
Insert the retractor

348
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,375
and crank it
until the ribs swing open

349
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,127
like a rusty drawbridge.

350
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,336
No!

351
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,963
Blood!

352
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,674
Next, make an incision
in the coronary art...

353
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:34,928
And we are back with more of
People Who Look Like Things.

354
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,937
No! No!

355
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,648
Someone taped over
the end of this.

356
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,152
All we ask is to be treated
with dignity and respect.

357
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,071
And a new candle now and then?

358
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,197
Yes, and a new... No!

359
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,659
My little Maggie.

360
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,870
I may never hold you again.

361
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,289
Eww! Stinky pants.

362
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,625
Now, Marge, if the unthinkable

363
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,418
should happen,
you're going to be lonely.

364
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,670
Homie, I could never re-marry.

365
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,671
Darn right.

366
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,131
And to make sure

367
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,815
I want to be stuffed
and put on the couch

368
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,761
as a constant reminder
of our marital vows.

369
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,098
Kids, you can come in now.

370
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,184
Bed goes up.

371
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,394
Kids, I wanna give you some
words to remember me by

372
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,063
in case something happens.

373
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,146
Let's see.

374
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,152
I'm no good at this.

375
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,657
Bart, the saddest thing
about this is

376
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:40,035
I won't get to see
you grow up because...

377
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,246
I know you're going
to turn out great

378
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,623
with or without your old man.

379
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:45,874
Thanks, Dad.

380
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,167
And, Lisa...

381
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,299
I guess this is
the time to tell you...

382
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,260
you're adopted,
and I don't like you.

383
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,971
Bart!

384
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,406
But don't worry,
because you've got

385
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,015
a big brother who loves you

386
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,201
and will always
look out for you.

387
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,269
Dad.

388
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,150
Hi, everybody.

389
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,526
Hi, Dr. Nick!

390
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,405
Now, if something
should go wrong,

391
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,824
let's not get the law involved.

392
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,410
One hand washes the other.

393
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,120
Ooh, that reminds me.

394
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:29,668
These gloves came free
with my toilet brush.

395
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,341
What the hell is that?

396
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,473
Marge, this is Andre.

397
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,933
Hello.

398
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,895
I think you two would make
a lovely couple.

399
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,355
My husband is still alive.

400
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,940
Thank God.

401
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,275
I hope he pulls through.

402
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,444
Not me.

403
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:58,363
Let's have a minute
of silent prayer

404
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,699
for our good friend,
Homer Simpson.

405
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,998
How long has it been?

406
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,082
Six seconds.

407
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667
Do we have to start over?

408
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,877
Hell, no.

409
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,670
Poor Mr. Homer.

410
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,548
Could it be that my snack treats
are responsible

411
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,633
for his wretched health?

412
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092
Give me some jerky.

413
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,320
Would you like
some vodka with that?

414
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,386
What the hell.
Sure.

415
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,852
Doctor, what's wrong?

416
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,813
Don't you know
where to make the incision?

417
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,690
All right, Nick, don't panic.

418
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,859
Think back to med school.

419
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,446
Seriously, baby.

420
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:40,989
I can prescribe anything I want.

421
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,869
I know I'm supposed
to cut something,

422
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,537
but what and where?

423
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,249
Hey!

424
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:54,920
The incision in the coronary artery
must be made below the blockage!

425
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,421
Below!

426
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,757
Thanks, little girl.

427
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,884
♪ The knee bone's connected ♪

428
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,345
♪ To the something ♪

429
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,598
♪ The something's connected
to the red thing ♪

430
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,434
♪ The red thing's connected
to my wristwatch... ♪

431
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:19,903
Good news. The operation was
a complete success.

432
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:25,033
That's wonderful!

433
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:30,706
Dr. Nick Riviera,
remember me?

434
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:34,710
Well, if it isn't my old friend
Mr. McCraig,

435
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,754
with a leg for an arm
and an arm for a leg.

436
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,885
All right, Dad!

437
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,887
You rule intensive care!

438
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,613
♪♪

439
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:48,283
Shh!

440
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:54,623
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.


